The following post was first drafted in 2015. It's too amusing not to share even at this late sate. No names were changed to protect the innocent. You'll see why.

We got our teeth cleaned today, the boy and me. The appointment date was written on the calendar in blood. Let me explain.

Last year before kindergarten began, Eddie had to get his teeth cleaned. Because it's what you do before school starts. He went when he turned four, and he went six months later, so he had been twice, but for some reason his five-year-old cleaning was the most traumatic event in his young life. He screamed, begged, pleaded, and cajoled. It was like I had taken him to rehab. At one point I physically attempted to place him in the dental chair, which was a huge mistake. When cornered he possesses the strength of a young rhino. After said fiasco, young Edward was put on restriction for a week; no TV, no outside time, no family dinner on Sunday. A week later, his grandmother volunteered to take him, because she is a saint. And I am a coward. He got his teeth cleaned, but it was not a day at the beach.

Six months later I get a phone call. It was the dentist's office. Crap.
"It's time for Eddie's cleaning," the scheduler whispered. "I thought maybe...he might...want to see a pediatric dentist." Basically we got kicked out of the dentist's office. Told to seek other options. Maybe a veterinarian. They do it with sedatives, right?

So I planned to call pediatrics and make an appointment. But then there was that scandalous news story about the pediatric dentist that yanked kids teeth out willy nilly and kids were getting injured. And it reminded me how much I love my dentist.

So I did the responsible thing and waited an extra six months. Because I'm a coward. And we went today. It was wonderful. We got a hygienist who was totally a kid person, went at Eddie's pace and asked him about himself, treated him like a tiny person. And miraculously the rhino stayed hidden. Eddie even earned his own latex gloves and mask and assisted with my cleaning. He did the suction straw. And I am uninjured. Thanks, Dr. Hanna's office!